Team Building Tips

It may not be cold outside, but that is the effect you will generate in your office just after you've barked at one of your direct reports.

This may have happened because you lack perhaps the key ingredient in being an effective communicator: you don't listen.

Effective listening is a lot tougher then most of us are willing to admit. And nearly all of us are guilty of talking far more than we listen. Listening is the underrated partner of interpersonal communication and far more important then speaking.

Good listening skills are not innate and a challenging skill to master. Many times our own interests or egos prevent us from truly listening to another person's point of view, problem or suggestion. It is human nature to try to win an argument or persuade the person with whom you are communicating. But that's not your role as a leader, is it?

Try these listening tips the next time you are engaged in a conversation with a colleague or direct report:

• Be empathetic and open to new ideas
• Listen to content, not personality
• Focus on key points
• Listen with attention--don't pretend interest
• Don't parrot what someone is saying for clarification--it's demeaning
• Ask leading questions to increase understanding.

"Tell me more about this..."

• Listen between the lines for the real message
• Pay attention to body language: maintain good eye contact; don't cross arms and lean forward to show interest
• Listen actively, not passively

Good listening is also extremely beneficial in clarifying misunderstandings and misconceptions. Don't approach a problem with: "I'm going to tell them what to do." Try instead: "I'm going to listen to what went wrong and then try to get them on board with the solution."

Make your first communication step listening. Then talk.

©BrowningLaFrankie 2009 Darrell L. Browning is a principal and founder of BrowningLaFrankie, LLC, a New Jersey-based company specializing in helping companies manage crisis situations, train leaders in media and presentation skills and facilitate strategic change through leadership coaching and organizational development workshops. BrowningLaFrankie are trainers-of-choice for The Wharton School MBA Program at the University of Pennsylvania. For more information see http://www.browninglafrankie.com.