Team Building Tips

Periodically, we find ourselves in situations where the formal leader of our group would greatly benefit from candid feedback about his or her behavior or policies. But is that leader prepared to hear feedback from us?

As leaders develop and form their self-image, they start screening out feedback that contradicts that image. Preserving an internal sense of self can become more important than learning and growth. They also develop an external image they work to maintain. For those who become public figures-- CEOs, principals, civic leaders, senior military officers, politicians-- protecting this public image may seem most important. More screens go up and the only messages that penetrate are the ones that validate their image of themselves.

There is little value in standing up and giving leaders feedback they cannot hear. The courageous follower's role is to find ways leaders can receive the feedback they need. We can minimize defensiveness by prefacing our feedback with a defusing statement that conveys respect and reminds the leader the leader of the value of honesty.

"You know how highly I think of your work, and I hope you won't mind my speaking frankly."

"You know that I respect what you are trying to do, and I'm sure you'd want me to be honest with you."

Leaders are more apt to pay attention to feedback if we link what we say to outcomes they desire, to what motivates them. Is it promotion? Profits? Re-election? Reputation? We certainly hope this list includes the common purpose. By linking our feedback about a behavior or policy to its impact on what leaders value, their interest in the subject outweighs the impulse to defend their image.

" I think what you are doing will affect__ (what the leader values). May I give you my views?"

" I'd like to give you feedback on that. I think it's important to what you're trying to accomplish."

Another way to defuse defensiveness is to share our own struggles with the same or similar issues. We can point out similarities between our own situations as well as differences. This creates empathy and may help the leader talk about the subject.

"I understand what you're up against as I had a similar experience with ___."

"I identify with your reaction because I have the same reaction when ___."

Giving a leader feedback about policies is usually easier than giving feedback about behavior, but not always. A leader may be completely wedded to a position that could have disastrous consequences. If a leader seems closed to hearing other viewpoints on an issue, we might approach the leader this way:

"I have several things to tell you that you may not want to hear, but this is why you need to hear them."

Then state the reasons why the leader should listen, including the potential consequences to his or her own interests and to the common purpose.

Only give feedback on policies when you have the leader's attention and he or she has a somewhat open mind.

Preparing a leader for feedback is the requisite to effectively giving that feedback. If you prepare a leader to be receptive then, and only then, is it worthwhile to use your skills in delivering important divergent perspectives.

This article has been adapted from The Courageous Follower:
Standing Up To and For Our Leaders, 2nd edition, by Ira Chaleff (2003) and may be reprinted for free in this form with attribution to the author and this biography. Also, please include a link to his web site: http://courageousfollower.net Ira Chaleff is president of Executive Coaching & Consulting Associates, http://exe-coach.com in Washington, DC., and is an adjunct faculty member at Georgetown University. He is also the co-editor of the Art of Followership (2008).