Team Building Tips

You anticipated your friends and co-workers would be easy to manage. They did of course pat you on the back and congratulate you when you got your promotion. But likely it hasn't taken you long to discover there are some challenges to supervising people who used to be your peers at work whether you were close friends or simply casual co-workers. Typical issues include:

How do I tell my friends I can't give them special treatment?  For example, how to I explain that I can't look the other way when they're late from lunch or if there are other more serious performance problems?

How do I represent management's point of view while keeping my rapport with my new direct reports? And how do I keep from looking like a jerk when I used to criticize management?

Can I still get together with people socially?

Though it may feel more comfortable to avoid these topics, it's far better to address the issues head on as soon as possible. Dealing directly with issues enables everyone to adjust more quickly. In fact, don't wait for an awkward situation to develop. Any new manager should meet individually with each of their direct reports within the first week of their new position and make this an agenda item. Here are some examples of things you can say:

"Max, I want to be able to maintain our friendship and I want to succeed in my new role as manager. I really want to talk openly about this, not just today, but if either of us feels there's a concern down the road. This is new territory for us and I don't want to blow our friendship, my job, or your satisfaction here."

"I hope you understand that I can't show you preferential treatment. It would create bad feeling on the team and it's part of my job to make sure we meet all standards and timelines. You need to realize I'll have to bring things up if there's ever an issue."

Janice, I know we used to rant and complain about management. Now that I'm a manager, my goal is to understand why certain approaches are taken and I may be able to share my insights with you. What I don't want to do is get into complaining sessions anymore."

"I really hope I can count on you to give me honest feedback. I want to be a manager that has the respect of my team and if you think I'm doing something that runs counter to that, will you tell me?"

As to whether or not you can still get together with people socially, intelligent minds differ on that. Because jealousy and feelings of competitiveness can persist despite your best efforts at open communication, there may be some relationships that don't rise to the occasion. But most experienced managers I talk to say it's definitely viable to maintain friendships with those you now manage. It can help to call out when you're wearing the "friend" hat and when you're wearing the "boss" hat both in and out of the office. And the empathy that you've likely shown as a friend needs to be demonstrated in your new work role as mixed emotions from your friend are likely to surface.

Marla Rosner & Associates, Helps Executives, Managers and Teams, Listen, Learn and Lead. Specialties include: *Training: First time manager training. Custom training design and delivery. Specialty in management development. Train trainers. *Team Building: Facilitate problem solving and decision making. Management retreats. *Planning: Help companies bridge strategy and execution by developing business plans with corporate teams and ensuring alignment, results and accountability. *Cogmed Working Memory Training: Coach individuals on use of the Cogmed Working Memory Training software. For information see: http://rosnerassociates.net/managing_for_results.htm http://www.linkedin.com/in/marlarosnerassociates